Two men and a baby
by 89891
Summary: Harry is taking into care by sirius and remus, what could possiably go wrong?...
1. Default Chapter

Two men and a baby

Since Harry Potter's mother and father died, Harry's godfather Sirius Black and his friend Remus Lupin, decided to take care of him.

"Okay," exclaimed Sirius, holding a sleeping harry. "How hard could it be?"

"Uh… yeah, I mean he's only a baby," said Remus half-shrugging, as they walked towards number 12-grimmuald place.

Two weeks later…

"Oh I can't take it anymore!" shouted Sirius covering his ears, going to pick Harry up.

"I've eating things, that haven't complained this much!" said Remus.

Harry was crying, again.

"Maybe he's hungry!" shouted Sirius.

"Yeah, I'll get the bottle!" shouted Remus back; soon enough, Harry stopped crying.

"Oh, thank god!" said the two men, in unison. Just then, when all seemed quite, Harry's stomach made a gurgling sound.

He was off again!

Okay sorry if it was so short but next chapter is good, More Harry, More Remus, More Sirius locked up in the cupboard!


	2. The cupboard

Chapter 2 the cupboard

As I was saying…

Harry was off again, suddenly he stopped, and then the worst came. The two men sniffed, and Sirius held the toddler at arms length.

"You do it, I think I hear a rat in the kitchen," said Remus running off into the kitchen.

"Yeah right," said Sirius to himself. A few moments later, Remus came back.

"Had fun?" he asked in a mocking voice.

"Next time, you do it!" Sirius said through gritted teeth.

About an hour later, Sirius went out to get some shopping, leaving Remus with Harry.

Harry was having a nap, and Remus was dozing in the chair, next to Harry's crib. Suddenly, Harry screamed, making Remus fall out of his chair.

"Oh bloody hell!" Said Remus as he got up and picked Harry up.

"Sshh, It's alright," he said cradling the tiny infant.

Sirius came back from the shops and found Remus and Harry asleep. He left them there, and waited for one to wake up.

3 guess's who…

After that episode, Remus and Sirius decided to play with Harry, who was enjoying every minute of it. They was playing hide and seek. Remus went down stairs to get some coffee.

When he came back, Sirius was nowhere to be seen.

"Sirius?" he called, a muffled sort of voice came from inside the cupboard. Remus opened the door. There was Sirius, sort of squashed up against the wall.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked.

"I'm on bloody holiday, in Barbados."

"And you didn't invite me?" Remus asked putting a hand to his chest.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Sirius bellowed. But Remus and Harry were laughing, Sirius had to laugh too.

Short but funny chapters, I'm thinking about only writing about 6.

Reviews welcome.


	3. Long day

Explanation chapter

Okay so in the last chapter I said that Sirius went out for shopping that is confusing a bit but in my fan fic the bad guy always looses one way, Petergrew, got captured and confessed everything, yey Sirius.

On with the story…

Jump a few years 

About 5 years later…

Harry was 6 now, and he loved his 'parents' like any other child would, of course remus had to go once a month, but Sirius was there, they were deciding if Harry should go to school, encase anything might happen, so they taught him at home.

But there was no wizard stuff, just sort of pre-school stuff.

Sirius didn't like that.

"Okay, what is 2+2?" he asked in a tired voice.

"Umm, 5?" Harry said, putting up five fingers.

Sirius chuckled to himself.

"No Harry, It's 4!" He said putting his fingers up. Harry laughed.

After 'school', Harry was in the back yard with Remus, Sirius was watching them, from a distance.

Suddenly, Remus yelped as he was lifted up into the air by a strange force.

Sirius was gobbing like a goldfish.

"Hey what the hell-?" Remus asked, but he was cut short, as he looked down at Harry.

He was using a wand.

Remus's wand, it must have dropped out of his pocket. Sirius just shrugged.

"It's going to be one of those days,"


	4. The birthday

Chapter 4

Next chapter…

After the 'accident' Remus made sure he had his wand at all times.

Sirius was not the same. He always let Harry play with it, he called it learning.

About a week later…

Harry's birthday was coming up, and Remus and Sirius was deciding what to get him.

"Maybe a book?" Remus popped up.

"Oh yeah, at his age? He's only just learned how to run!"

"Then what is your idea?" Remus asked folding his arms.

"Mmm, maybe a cuddly toy, a bear, I used to have one!" He said running upstairs.

Remus looked up at the landing, only to be hit 2 minutes later by a giant, fuzzy teddy bear!

"Meet Mr. Fuzzbins!" Sirius said with his arm in a sort of a peter-pan way.

The big day had arrived; Harry was now seven, and he had the teddy off Sirius and a small picture book of Remus, owing to the dismal of Sirius.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!" the two men shouted, and Harry blew the candles out with a very wet raspberry.

Okay that's it sorry if it was so short but you can imagine the rest!

Onward with other stories!


	5. The hair issue

Chapter 5-the hair issue

Okay so change of plans, I decided to do one last chapter, this one, great title eh?

After Harry's birthday, Sirius was working hard for Dumbledore, and was completely shattered. Unknown to Remus, or Sirius for that matter, Sirius had left his wand on the kitchen table. Harry reached it, and made his way upstairs. To Sirius's room.

He found Sirius sleeping at the table. Harry got a mischievous grin on his face…

"ARRAGGGH!" screamed Sirius as he ran down the stairs.

"What is it sir-" Remus sentence was cut short, as he looked upon what was Sirius who had jet black hair but now had a florescent pink afro!

Well Remus was trying to hold his laughter inside.

"Remus is this your idea for a joke?" Sirius asked, pointing to his hair.

"What! Me! How could I when I was down here," he managed to say through laughing. Sirius pondered for a moment.

Then it came to him.

Harry…

They found Harry sitting at the foot of the stairs, holding Sirius' wand.

"You don't' think?" questioned Sirius, looking at Remus.

"Hey I wouldn't put it past him," Said Remus putting up his hands.

Then Sirius did what come natural for a marauder.

He burst into song.

"Night fever night fever!"


	6. Revenge is sweet

Chapter 6- revenge is sweet!

After Sirius' hair had got back to normal, he and Remus was both busy, Harry was in the den.

They both came back through, to find floo powder scattered all over the floor.

"Oh no," Said Remus quickly.

"Come on!" moaned Sirius as he dragged Remus into the fire. He managed to pick up some floo powder.

"DIAGON ALLEY!" Sirius shouted.

Okay little weird I know, but Harry did defeat lord Voldemort, heck why not this?

As soon as they reached diagon alley, they ran out of the shop screaming at the top of their lungs,

"HARRY!" But no luck what so ever.

"Right, you go this way and I'll go that way!" Said Sirius pointing in two different directions. And with that they split up…

After an hour of searching, still no Harry.

"Where could he be we've checked everywhere," said Remus in a tired voice.

And with that failed they went back to the house.

"Oh Dumbledore is going to KILL US!" half-shouted Sirius.

"No he won't… But think about," Said Remus plopping himself down into a chair, only to jump up again.

"Hello Remus!" shouted someone next to him!

Harry!

"What the hell?" He said, looking at Harry, who was half way through a chocolate biscuit.

Sirius came running through.

"Remus what's wro-?" Sirius sentence was cut short, as he looked upon the sofa, where Harry was sitting.

Well you can guess the rest, and let me tell you, it involved a lot of screaming, as Timon said:

"Hey pumba, not in front of the kids!"

well I know its short and totally wacked but what isn't!

FIN


	7. Jump a few years final chapter

Chapter 7- jump a few years

Okay Harry is 1 in the beginning, then 6, so now I'm going to right about two weeks before he starts Hogwarts.

Still funny.

Anyway, Harry was now 11, and was excited as anything, I mean, he is going off to the wizard school of schools! Remus and Sirius got Harry's stuff last week for him.

The big day had arrived.

"Okay Harry, this is it, looking forward?" Remus asked.

"I think I got butterflies in my stomach!"

"Ah, don't worry, it's natural," Sirius said patting him on the shoulder.

"What isn't anymore?" Harry asked.

Harry couldn't sleep, he was too excited.

The next morning came very slowly, to Harry, who was slightly drooling on the left side of his pillow (he had finally fallen to sleep) Sirius kicked to door opend with his bare foot, followed by an "OUCH!"

Harry was still sleeping.

"Hey Harry get up!" He said, shaking Harry gently.

"Mmm? Oh go away, it's 7:30 in the morning!"

"YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!" Sirius yelled in Harry's ear, loud enough to wake the dead!

There was commotion in Grimmalud place like there never was before.

There were people running up and down stairs, half dressed, with bits of toast in their mouths.

Remus nearly broke his back, taking Harry's trunk.

I wonder why?

They had finally reached King's cross, and Quarter to 11, so they had time.

Sirius gave Harry his ticket for Platform 9 ¾ and gave Harry an instruction to walk straight at the barrier, between 9 and the 10th platform.

Harry looked at Sirius like he was out of this world.

Remus showed him how it was done.

Harry had to blink twice!

But he managed.

After that was done, Harry was off to Hogwarts.

He sent a howler to Sirius and Remus but it wasn't anything bad it shouted through the house:

"GRYFFIONDOR!"

WELL THAT'S IT YOU WANTED MORE THAN 6 AND YOU GOT MORE THAN 6

ONWARD WITH MORE CRAZY SIRIUS!


End file.
